Originally Posted by TraciJO
If you are "poly" in your heart, can you ever be happy if you don't act on it?
I would like to modify that, though - If I am poly in my heart (I use the term "wired for poly") then I need to feel free to act on it. I don't need to actually act on it, just to know that I am not limited. It may seem a fine distinction to you, but for me it's an important one.
It was the feeling of being "caged in" to monogamy that caused me all the problems. The analogy I like to use is that of a dog and its cage. If you put the dog in its cage and shut the door, they can get very unhappy, barking and whining. However, if you leave the door open, the dog will often just go and lie in there, quite content. It isn't that the cage is inherently uncomfortable that bothers the dog, it's the idea of that door being closed that causes the problem.
My relationship can be absolutely great, but if I feel that the door is closed, then I am not going to be happy.