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Old 05-25-2012, 02:26 PM
opalescent opalescent is online now
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 2,050

This is a reallly reductive metaphor but anyway...

Think of it as a hobby that you thoroughly enjoy. Let's say model trains. You like setting up your trains, you like learning about how others set up their models, you go to the local model train meetup, you enjoy hanging out with other model train enthusiasts. It's all about the model trains.

Your spouse is bored out of her skull - model trains do not interest her at all. However she knows the joy and pleasure you get out of it and so does not mind that you turn your basement into model trainland. She understands why you need to hang out with other hobbyists and occasionally swap trains. She wants you to be fully yourself and accepts this as part of you. So she tells you to go 'whole hog' on the model trains. But she does not need to be a part of that scene herself. Your happiness is enough.

As long as she is truly accepting of your model trains, and you appreciate her, love her and respect her - which appears to be the case (awesome!), do not drag her to the model train shows or seminars. Let her knit or bake or weld - whatever gives her joy and pleasure.
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