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Old 05-25-2012, 06:41 AM
km34 km34 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 624

I'm not attracted to liars. And while that situation could feel like a perfectly legitimate one it's still lying. I would never trust that person to tell me the truth. If he/she is so willing to lie to a spouse and their children, why would I be exempt from the lies? If I condone one reason to cheat, I may as well condone them all because an argument could be made in all situations.

On another note, there has been significant research that shows that children with parents who are unhappy in their situations suffer as much if not more trauma than children whose parents get divorced but are psychologically happy. So, even if it would be financially straining I would prefer people who can't function as a unit anymore to split up so that they can be emotionally fulfilled.

I had a friend whose parents were in that situation - their relationship was TERRIBLE, but because her mom had some health issues that made her unable to work, they stayed together "for the kids and financial reasons." One kid ended up pregnant in high school (twice - she has 3 kids now), married the baby daddy, was severely abused by the baby daddy, and then finally moved out. Why did she deal with the guy for so long? Because it was better than witnessing her parents' unhappiness (her words). She finally realized she was doing the same thing to her kids and moved out on her own.

My friend ran away because she got so tired of the tension at home. She officially moved out at 16, transferring high schools, and living with a friend's family. The youngest kid still lives with the mom and is one of the most timid people I've ever seen in my life (as opposed to the spunky, crazy outgoing kid she was).

After the youngest was in high school, the dad's multiple affairs were found out by the kids. The dad that had always provided for them was now just the guy that cheated on their mom. Only one out of the three kids (the youngest who is still forced by the courts to go to his house) is even on speaking terms with him now.

Sure, cheating may be easier than leaving sometimes. And in some cases it may be better for the adults involved, but if there are kids involved, no.
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