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Old 05-25-2012, 05:18 AM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
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Originally Posted by davepolyam View Post
so i spoke with my wife about it again, and she would rather wait for our friend to leave her current boy friend before we even think about asking her... but i feel that the sooner we tell our friend the better the outcome, cause she still has no idea other than that we might want a threesome, even though i wish for so much more than that...
I would recommend waiting a bit as well. Leaving a relationship is stressful and should be done thoroughly. She may leave things unfinished if you hurry her right into the next and the fallout of that may take its toll on you later on.

It is valid to offer her every option available and tell her that you are really interested in her, but let her reach a more stable place before going at it.

Originally Posted by davepolyam View Post
[...] wish for it to happen and that it might also take strain off of our relationship, which she agreed. and she would have someone to talk to and vent if needed, and i'm simply looking forward to watching this seed grow and flower into the most beautiful relationship
What kind of strain are you talking about? If there are some things you and your wife are having problems with, it is normally better to work those issues out before adding another person. If things stay unsolved they tend to grow with time and get right back at you.

What got me thinking as well was your wife's motivation. She sounds as if she needs a good friend, not a romantic relationship. Maybe this is only part of the picture, but if that is how she basically feels you may watch out for the dynamic in a triad, where the different relationships don't build equally between the spouses and one easily feels left out. As your wife seems to be mainly interested in exploring her sexual side a bit, this may happen to her, if the feelings she develops are more on the friendship level.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

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