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Old 05-25-2012, 02:54 AM
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Vixtoria Vixtoria is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 306

I also felt the need to weigh in here. DH and I recently started listening to a new poly podcast, Pedestrian Polyamory. One episode discusses the newbies. I was thrilled about this because they addressed that there is a MAJOR difference between 'single' people coming to poly and couples. There is a lot of poly pitfalls for newbies so having a board for newbies maybe moderated by someone more experienced and someone no longer a newbie but not yet 'seasoned' would be a good idea.

I was horribly frustrated by poly/mono groups that either villainized the mono or gave unconditional support to stumbling polys. I too made mistakes but when there is cheating in a mono relationship that leads to poly there are issues of trust that NEED to be addressed. While I don't always agree with all the advice given here and may think posts at times unduly harsh I will say I can always count on at least one perso (usually more) to be frank enough to point out that yes, you made a mistake, now own up because YOU are not the victim here.

I know I am sadly in the minority. As DH and I have discussed both liking the same types of women and him possibly dating as well, yet we have never discussed finding a woman for us to 'share' or to 'join our family'. It has always been that while it would be nice if there was someone interested in us both that we were both interested in it's an individual thing. We date who we want to separately. If we were ever in a triad it would be a surprise to us as well as it would have to happen naturally! We just don't see both falling for the same person or having a relationship with someone that would fit neatly I to our whole family like that. People are individuals. What are the chances that someone will live DH the same I do? Or me the same he does? Or the two of us loving one person the same? Hell, I love DH and DC different!
Me: 40 pansexual poly.
DH: My husband of 21 yrs and father of 3 teen girls.
DC: LDR of +9 years/former
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