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Old 05-25-2012, 02:28 AM
parsons parsons is offline
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: austin TX
Posts: 4

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
Welcome to the forum. Situations like yours are very, very difficult, and hard to navigate.

A "poly marriage" is only possible if your husband knows about it and agrees with it. Otherwise it's cheating, plain and simple.

As others have said, "Relationship broken, add more people" will only add to the drama, and getting professional help is going to be vital, if you want to make this work.

Based on what I quoted that you wrote, I get the feeling that you think that the counselling suggestion was to try to make everything right with you and your husband. I don't think that's what they meant. You need to find out whether or not you and your husband can take an honest look at your marriage, see the short-comings and put a plan in place for being happy. If one of those requirements for you is that you are poly, then that is part of the counselling. If none of that is posisble, then ending the marriage is pretty much your only other option while staying honest.

Lying to your husband, and breaking your marriage vows (i.e. cheating) is also an option for some - others have issues with this sort of behavior. But that isn't poly.

I hope this clarifies.
I wasn't looking at the whole picture but talking about this out loud with others today made me realize exactly what your saying. I have two issues one being my broken marriage and the other being that i want to be poly. What i meant by the counseling not working is that i don't believe there's any fixing my marriage it is what it is and we both know it were just too scared to admit it because we love each other and don't want to hurt each other. I know fixing my marriage isn't going to work and either is being poly i guess what i need is a way to work out what to do about my marriage without us having to be enemies. Thanks you for your post.
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