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Old 05-25-2012, 01:07 AM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate New York, USA
Posts: 1,467

Originally Posted by parsons View Post
To PinkDragon.
Thank you for the suggestion, unfortunately we have been through too much. I am at a breaking point and know that being able to be who i truly am is the only way that we can be as happy as we are sometimes all the time. So i really think its either divorce or poly marriage. The problem i have is approaching my husband with the idea in the first place and im miserable in the meantime.
Welcome to the forum. Situations like yours are very, very difficult, and hard to navigate.

A "poly marriage" is only possible if your husband knows about it and agrees with it. Otherwise it's cheating, plain and simple.

As others have said, "Relationship broken, add more people" will only add to the drama, and getting professional help is going to be vital, if you want to make this work.

Based on what I quoted that you wrote, I get the feeling that you think that the counselling suggestion was to try to make everything right with you and your husband. I don't think that's what they meant. You need to find out whether or not you and your husband can take an honest look at your marriage, see the short-comings and put a plan in place for being happy. If one of those requirements for you is that you are poly, then that is part of the counselling. If none of that is posisble, then ending the marriage is pretty much your only other option while staying honest.

Lying to your husband, and breaking your marriage vows (i.e. cheating) is also an option for some - others have issues with this sort of behavior. But that isn't poly.

I hope this clarifies.

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb
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