Samines - Even if it doesn't work out with this particular couple (if they are "pulling back" because of some of the issues that have been brought up in this thread), you still have the benefit of having thought through and discussed this all here, it's not a complete loss, you have learned something about yourself and given some weighty issues a lot of consideration.
Best of luck!
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.
My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe