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Old 05-24-2012, 07:02 PM
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samines samines is offline
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Location: (Mountain-y, western) NC.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
Just to support the "ok to know that you're poly at 18 camp" - I knew I was poly (or some version of ethical-nonmonogamist) since before the word was invented. I was in my teens - that was over 2 decades ago.
Yay! I like this camp.

Quote:
I, personally, have more issues with the age discrepancy - but I recognize that that is MY issue. (I thought it was creepy at 14 that a 26 year old was calling me...my parents handled it very well - they gave me the option of handling it myself or having them pull the "parent" card. I decided to handle it myself with the option of asking them to step in if I felt overwhelmed. I, basically, gently pointed out to him that we were at two very different places in our lives, and asked him to look at himself and see if there was any reason he felt more comfortable talking to a barely-teenager than to women his own age - he might have some "issues" he needed to address.)
It's funny... even at 18, it seems a little creepy when a 26 year old wants to chat with me on okc... and I am a little hesistant- even though I am a fairly stereotypical unicorn!- when I see a couple in their 20's-30's looking for a gf. There's a pretty deeply instilled thing in our culture that tells us, anyone who is interested in someone 10 years younger than them? There is something wrong with them.

It's getting to know someone, and I think it's as soon as I start to trust them- at that point I "know" that any interest they show is in *me*, and not in my age.

Quote:
Samines, it seems you recognize that, at this point in your life, you are attracted to couples. Nothing wrong with that. There is no reason that you have to date a bunch of people in the "normal" way first before you can come to that realization. From what you have written you seem to bring a lot of maturity, if not a whole lot of "relationship experience", to the table. I can relate to that - I've had exactly TWO "serious" relationships in my life - the two that I am in now with MrS and Dude. You don't necessarily have to practice a lot first - some people get lucky and get it "right" the first time (not saying it's common - just saying it can happen). But you are definitely giving the situation the kind of thought and consideration that it deserves.
And... I'm even willing to make this relationship one of the practice ones. Not to sound harsh, I mean, I'd love if it really worked out and I was with these people for the rest of my life... but I understand sometimes it does take a lot of kissing frogs. I just want to give it a real try, ya know?

As far as giving it the thought it deserves... I'm definitely trying. I'm glad it looks that way to you, too

Quote:
Although I am not a professor I do work in a field where relationships with other people in the workplace or clients would be ethically problematic due to perceived (and real) "power-dynamic" issues. I won't do it...period. There have been staff and clients that I have found myself attracted to - if any of them ceased to be employed by us or ceased to be our clients ONLY then would I ever even consider acting on that attraction in any way (even letting them know such an attraction existed before that point would be a huge issue) - and I STILL probably wouldn't due to the extreme fall-out possible if things went south.
I know, I know... that's what I was originally thinking... I don't think I would have done anything if I didn't get the impression they were pursuing me.

Of course... now I've gotten all worked up, I've really thought about my feelings for them, I've started figuring out how to make it work... and it doesn't seem like they're pursuing me any more. I'm confused, and suddenly I just don't know what to do!

Quote:
Just my accumulated 2 cents worth of thoughts having followed this thread.

JaneQ
I think that counts as more than 2 cents! Thank you
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19.
Gender-fluid.
Single.
Omnisexual. (I am attracted to males, females, and any variation/in-between/lack thereof, but I am not "gender blind" which most pansexuals describe themselves as.)
Polyamorous.
Overuses smiley faces.

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