View Single Post
Old 05-24-2012, 06:21 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,868

Just to support the "ok to know that you're poly at 18 camp" - I knew I was poly (or some version of ethical-nonmonogamist) since before the word was invented. I was in my teens - that was over 2 decades ago.

I, personally, have more issues with the age discrepancy - but I recognize that that is MY issue. (I thought it was creepy at 14 that a 26 year old was calling parents handled it very well - they gave me the option of handling it myself or having them pull the "parent" card. I decided to handle it myself with the option of asking them to step in if I felt overwhelmed. I, basically, gently pointed out to him that we were at two very different places in our lives, and asked him to look at himself and see if there was any reason he felt more comfortable talking to a barely-teenager than to women his own age - he might have some "issues" he needed to address.)

Samines, it seems you recognize that, at this point in your life, you are attracted to couples. Nothing wrong with that. There is no reason that you have to date a bunch of people in the "normal" way first before you can come to that realization. From what you have written you seem to bring a lot of maturity, if not a whole lot of "relationship experience", to the table. I can relate to that - I've had exactly TWO "serious" relationships in my life - the two that I am in now with MrS and Dude. You don't necessarily have to practice a lot first - some people get lucky and get it "right" the first time (not saying it's common - just saying it can happen). But you are definitely giving the situation the kind of thought and consideration that it deserves.

Although I am not a professor I do work in a field where relationships with other people in the workplace or clients would be ethically problematic due to perceived (and real) "power-dynamic" issues. I won't do it...period. There have been staff and clients that I have found myself attracted to - if any of them ceased to be employed by us or ceased to be our clients ONLY then would I ever even consider acting on that attraction in any way (even letting them know such an attraction existed before that point would be a huge issue) - and I STILL probably wouldn't due to the extreme fall-out possible if things went south.

Just my accumulated 2 cents worth of thoughts having followed this thread.

JaneQ(Me): poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (25+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (7+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW, friends with MrS
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 05-24-2012 at 06:25 PM.
Reply With Quote