First of all, thanks for the support. Great of you to show this much sympathy and concern.
In regard to similar situations (like RP's) yes, I read about them and I know that things will eventually be in one way or the other 'OK'. I doubt that I personally will feel like they are alright as long as any pretense will be part of the picture. Right now, that is what I get. She is completely ignoring the problems and smiles brightly at me whenever we meet. Makes me furious, but I keep my cool and keep away for now.
I decided to talk about the stuff she said and about how unacceptable it is for me to leave this be till she may come around in a year or two to be able to talk about the poly stuff. We don't have to talk everything through right now, but we need to talk about the way she reacted. I will offer her to move away as soon as our financial situation and my future work will allow it, if this helps her cope with it and if it is what she really wants.
I will have the talk with my father this evening. If he reacts as badly as my mother … things will be rough the next weeks. The worst outcome right now is the one you described BrigidsDaughter. That would be something I couldn't live with on a daily basis. If that is their ultimate reaction, I would move away for my own sake.
And a final note: Just thought about how conceited I was for calling my life too positive. Put some kind of kiss of death on it as it seems. Fits the pile of problems around here just too well. Just got too used to everyone being OK with things and wasn't able to estimate how disturbing things could be for indirectly involved family members. Learned my lesson.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.