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Old 05-24-2012, 01:57 AM
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samines samines is offline
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: (Mountain-y, western) NC.
Posts: 28

Originally Posted by BaggagePatrol View Post
Thought I'd put my two cents in about the teacher/student dynamic. One of my close girlfriends started a relationship with one of her profs in university, and he looked into how to protect his professional relationship while they were dating. At their particular university there was a form that could be filled out that took care of the legal consent involved in recognizing their relationship. They ended up deciding to keep their relationship private, and she ended up not being his student for much longer - they're now happily married.

I just thought it would be good to know that there may be ways to handle that aspect of a budding relationship in a way that protects everyone and creates a feeling of responsibility and openness instead of shame or sneaking. Lots of people get squirrely about "positions of authority" and relationships overlapping, but to me that's like someone implying that you don't know who you are, or what you want and I think it's disrespectful for anyone to assume that about you. You have to follow your heart, and if you happen to crush on someone who is also your teacher, I think it's manageable.
As much as I appreciate what opalescent said- and I definitely am trying to think through that all...
I want to know more about this form. It's... it could be a missing part of my puzzle. I tried searching for it, but didn't find anything, can you tell me anything else about it? Maybe even the university's name could help?...

It's good to know that if it happens, there is a "right" way to go about it.

On a sidenote... I can't find a student/teacher relationship policy for our college, and it would probably seem suspicious if I asked someone about it. Anyone have any hints??

It sounds like you're searching for the right way to tell/show them how you feel/what you want. Have you come up with some ideas that might accomplish this without feeling like you're moving too fast? I'm big on taking urgency out of important decisions - there's no rush except the hurrying that we do inside of ourselves - you got this! Take your time, and find what's right for you.
Just reading that helped me to calm down a little. Let me go back a re-read it a couple more times...

No, I haven't exactly come up with any ideas... part of my problem is, I really want physical intimacy to be a part of a relationship, a way to express love and even just daily emotions... I want someone to share my world with, ya know?... but I'm completely inexperienced (nothing, nada, zip.)... I want to explore it... but harping on that is pretty much a guarantee that I'll move too fast.
I do want to explore it, and I know they're respectful enough to take it at my pace... but, again, zero experience, and I guess I don't exactly what "taking it slow" is, because I've never taken it anywhere. I should just do what feels comfortable, right? That makes sense, but then........

The idea that someone wants to have a relationship with me- someone that I actually like back- suddenly I want to do everything their way, just lay everything out per their orders... it's not a good way to start a relationship, I know. But I'm just... scared of rejection. And I know that if we can't work a relationship out so everyone's comfortable, it just shouldn't happen at all. I think we will be able to work it out, it's just... it's funny, I think this stuff gets so much easier when I'm actually with the people I'm thinking of. Like now, I'm almost losing track of who they are, what I like about them, I'm projecting something onto them that's not nearly as good as they really are.

I don't know if I explained that well, but I know I can't be the only one who's like that. I'm so caught up in logic and nervousness and legal stuff that I'm loosing track of how incredible they really are. *sigh*
So after that introspective journey, to answer your question... yeah, that's pretty much exactly what I'm trying to figure out. And I don't really know what to say, except that I think I'll be able to figure it out while it's happening.

Although ideas on how to bring it up without putting A in an awkward professional position are greatly lacking.
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