Originally Posted by Emm
Perhaps you should take the advice offered, or will you only accept it if it agrees with what you've already decided?
There's a difference between "This is what I think/hope" on a first date and "This is how my husband and I have decided the next ten years of your life will be" on a first date. If you honestly can't see the difference then "Creepy Old Dude" is right no matter what your gender (and I'm also female, BTW, so don't try pulling the "but girls don't think like that" card).
If what I got at the outset was advice, I failed to recognize it. It felt like disgust and condemnation.
We did not 'decide', it was simply conjecture. All theory, just talk. Obviously, things would change or be rejected entirely after discussions with C. Never anywhere did I say this was set in stone.
I also did not say "girls don't think like that", I said essentially that girls have a tendency to let their imaginations run years ahead of where they are with plenty of scenarios that may never come to pass.
dingedheart - I'm okay with questions. Questions are good. I don't mind the number. Heck, I'd fill out a survey. :-)
why would you want to do this?
From our previous experience with having another female in the house, I really enjoyed having a friend to share things my husband doesn't enjoy with. My hope would be that C and I could be friends (it seems we do share a number of interests) and have fun doing things together.
Are you ... ? or interested in exploring that?
I'm not sure what the blank is here. I am not remotely interested in women sexually, if that's what you're asking. So, there would be no sexual relationship between myself and C.
Do you have mismatched ...........................?
Again, I'm not sure what the blank is here beyond maybe libido? At one point we had an issue with this. I have more of a drive than he does, but we've gotten that worked out.
Are you looking forward to get out and date?
No. I have no desire to be with anyone beyond my husband. C would probably never be anything more than a very good friend to me. I hesitate to use the word sister because of the connotations that would undoubtedly bring to mind, but thats probably the closest word.
How much reading have you both done here on this possible life changing decision?
I can't speak for him, but I've been searching all over the net for anything remotely close to our situation. Most of the other forums I've come across are dead with the most recent postings being from months if not years ago. I was excited when I saw how alive this forum was. I read some of the threads, but didn't see much that was similar to what we were thinking, which is why I started the thread.
In general, I'd like to apologize for my small tantrum earlier. This is far from the first time I've put my personal life online and certainly not the first time I've received negative feedback, even in harsh form. Usually, I've got fairly thick skin and can shrug off the outlandish stuff. I have no problem admitting that pregnancy combined with the tenderness of this subject, has made me quite sensitive. Also, I do feel that the tags and repeated accusation of predator amped up my emotions.
G had a conversation with C today. She and her boyfriend talked some this morning and have decided to give it another shot. So, this discussion is tabled for the forseeable future.
Thank you, yet again, to those that offered constructive advice. You've given me food for thought.
To those that jumped on the Creepy bandwagon, I'd ask them to think of the addage concerning honey and vinegar. No one is going to want to listen to what you've got to say after you've attacked them. I would have been far more receptive to your point of view if you hadn't immediately declared my husband and I icky people.
Thank you also, to whoever edited the tags. I really appreciate that.