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Old 05-23-2012, 01:20 PM
ihaveasecret ihaveasecret is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: the beach
Posts: 24

The real creepiness of what you and your husband want is actually hard to describe. I don't think there is an easy way to explain to you why it's so creepy. Also, I consider your backstory as you called it, to be the important part that needs to be addressed much more than the questions you had about getting pregnant.

As a man, I find this proposition disturbing as well. I have far too much respect for women to treat one like a helpless child who needs my guidance and hope to get into her panties. Vulnerability can be incredibly attractive but that doesn't give me license to take advantage of it. And as Emm pointed out, you've spun a rather unsettling fantasy in your mind about how you two want this will play out years from now, when she is still trying to get things to work with her boyfriend. How can you not see the creep factor in all that?

It's one thing if you offered her your home truly as friends, with solely her interest at heart and then, out of that a romance naturally developed on its own between her and one or both of you. But it's a completely different thing to bring her into your home with the hope that eventually he will get to bang her, and also that she would have to be part of your fidelitous triad with all the ground rules already in place. The relationship and its rules should grow out of all people involved, not be set in place by two people before they "bring a third in." That is not friendship! This is why people are creeped out! The entire idea chucks away the possibilities available to her as a woman on her own.

Last edited by ihaveasecret; 05-23-2012 at 01:25 PM.
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