Thank you for the thoughtful advice NYCindie
I have been thinking about what to write here, but almost nothing would make sense, so I'd leave it as it is. Each thought you present of quite true, but when I think about the whole picture, something feels odd. In any way, I will hang on and will see what happens.
By the way, I have been seeing somebody else in the last couple of months, and we are a bit more that hobby friends, but this is a separate story.