First Date Jitters.
I'm going on a date with Mischief tomorrow night. We've been txting about it all week, and I think we're both a little surprised to find that we're getting jitters! Nice restaurant chosen, I've planned my outfit - I even ironed one of my favourite dresses (I must really like this guy - I almost never iron) and pre-browsed the menu so that I can just talk to him instead of trying to figure out if I'd prefer octopus or lotus root something or other.
I'm nervous because I can see myself either 1) liking him as much as I'm guessing I will or 2) not liking him at all, and feeling like I've made in error in judgement.
We've been txt teasing each other all day, "I hope you like goiters" was my response to his "I'm really pasty, and socially awkward." We seem to be doing a lot of joking around, which is night and day from my very serious and intimate txts and conversations with Ranger. It's kind of nice to have them be so different from each other.
I have to watch myself - my tendency to get waaaaaay too far ahead of myself. Just have to stay in the moment, and enjoy getting to know him tomorrow night. Drinks out with a gfriend first, and then dinner with him - one of my boards called a last minute meeting at 7am the next morning, so there is no way that I'll be staying over at my gfriend's house as initially planned.
I hope I nervous choke on water, or knock some shit off the table, or make a really inappropriate joke about something that I don't know he's really self conscious about, or some other totally awesome epic first date flub. Le sigh. Really I just hope that he's going to be as funny, sexy and interesting as he has been already, but in a package that totally appeals. He'll either like me, or he won't - no point in worrying about that really - the only person I have to offer is myself, and it'll either click.... or not.
Booked a suite in the city for Ranger and I's first proper tryst at the beginning of June when Elemental goes to see Sync. He'll be all excited - I'm driving him to the airport to drop him off on Thursday evening, and will pick him up on my way home from the city on Sunday. I bet we're both sleep deprived and sex stoned LOL. I'm excited for them - had good chats with Sync last night, same with Ranger, and everyone seems really excited for each other/about each other. It's pretty fun to have this be developing at a pace that feels way more comfortable for everyone, and while I know we're not done with hiccups, I feel like we're getting more and more balanced in our approach/comfort with everything.
Am proud of us. Navigating this shit ain't easy all of the time, but I feel like we're doing a good job of being loving, respectful, communicative and supportive of each person in each individual and combined relationship. Elemental and I had a good gut-laugh while walking the dogs after work today - we were working out potential schedules for when Sync returns for school, and we were laughing over what freaks we are - having this totally abnormal conversation while doing something so totally normal like walking the dogs and holding hands. Busy day today - interview with the paper over some stuff I'm doing right now, radio spot, shot a video at one of my businesses today. Tomorrow morning is volunteer work with cancer patients, then a planning meeting for a bunch of community services work.
And so.... tomorrow night... the moment of truth as to how things are gunna unfold in my life over the next couple of months.
Live the life that is in you.... heard it in a movie the other day, and I love it. I am, and I will - ain't no other way to be.