Thread: Dating advice?
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Old 05-23-2012, 02:44 AM
nllswing nllswing is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 52
Default UPDATE - any thoughts?

So, the story continues as follows:

We continued meeting at the hobby club and sometimes outside in relationship with the hobby (what I previously was calling "vanilla activity" - it is a plain non-sexual hobby). In the last few weeks we have been skipping the club most of the time and have been meeting at her alumni club, which is a convenient place. Each time when we'd meet, we'd have a nice conversation for an hour or so, and then we'd get to work. These conversations are my favorite time and I let her, bit by bit, know more about me. I have been also learning quite a bit about her and her interesting life

Today I brought the topic of open relationships. Until now, she knew that my wife and I had "an arrangement." While she wasn't shocked at all, she said that she tried once to have a casual relationship and it did not work well for her. Then she mentioned something like "luckily, I don't have to worry about relationships any more." I told her some of the benefits an open relationship can offer and what my wife and I have agreed upon, and she tole me "I wish you luck." Also she told me that last year she had something with a guy in his 40s, so age gap is not such a big issue for her. There is something else.

After the dinner talk we did some hobby work and friendly parted with the understanding to meet next Tuesday at the hobby club because we haven't been there in a while.

I don't know what to do. I am in love, she is gorgeous, and it hurts me to come home after our meeting be start thinking about why aren't we lovers. Things have been going fine, except that we may be stuck at the "activity friends" area, and this is not acceptable for me. First, it hurts me because I really want us to be more and second, spending two evenings a week to be a "friend" is too much time for me.

I often imagine telling her "listen, it has all been fine but I can't keep going like this" but on the other hand, I don't want to break things up just yet.
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