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Old 05-22-2012, 11:02 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

Oh I am so loving this break from so much responsibility... I have a few things on the horizon, but mostly just relaxing, catching up with people and taking a breath. Planning on keeping this pace for awhile.

With the time I am beginning to do what I normally do and that is start getting sad about stuff I have no control over. Should of and could ofs and what ifs. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I don't know what else to do but walk through the feelings. I know that its partly due to sheer exhaustion and the fact that I have neglected my primary partner... my self.

I have been listening to some new music that I am singing along with and its making me happy. The songs are sad and melancholy though and I think I need to find something more up lifting. I was given the link to some new ones, well, forgotten ones this weekend and I am pouring over them now too. Having loves in my life always seems to bring me good music!

I have a week of dates this week. Time spent with people I love and who's existence in the world fills my heart with joy!

I have a date with Mono tonight. It's making me giddy to think of cuddling up to him tonight in bed only to end up sticky and sweaty later.... listening to him sing his silly little made up songs as we drive in his new truck to see a movie, listening to him talk about his websites and plans for retirement, arguing about something mundane just because...

I look forward to going shopping with my new friend to help him find some new clothes. Watching his shy confidence will be entertaining and endearing. Going shopping with someone is a big deal... I get to really look at him as he tries things on.. No trouble in that really. I wonder if he is nervous? No doubt he will tell me after he reads this as he has been following along here diligently and comments in private often. I enjoy our time together and the more we spend time together the more we seem to bond.

I look forward to a walk on the ocean later this week and some homemade pizza with my dating friend. He is a romantic at heart and sends me lots of lovely words everyday that indicate his dedication to seeing what is in store for us. He has stopped looking on the dating sites he was on as I seem to be his focus at the moment. I enjoy our similarities and find that I trust him because of it. He thinks like me, is as passionate about everything as I am and his dedication and commitment to others and the process that he feels will create the best case scenario is similar to mine. I love that he puts a lot of thought into his relationships and does not do things half ass. Because I am like that too I find myself feeling very secure and easily relaxed.

Even later this week I am meeting with my darling husband to do a little book store window shopping before collecting our boy and having Indian food together. This date is tailored towards him and I was glad to make it so. He has a hard day to go through this up coming weekend as he visits his dad to sort out his dad's will. I wanted to make sure he had something other than that to look forward to. I want him to fall asleep in my arms happy on Friday night so that Saturday morning I can send him off feeling as if he has had some fun.

Next week I see Derby. Whew! Long time to wait, but I think we will be able to fit in a coffee date this week. She and I have a lot of catching up to do with our lives.... stories about the wedding she was in this past week, what is going on with various people we commonly know and have different relationships with, hugs and little kisses... I love wrapping my arms around her and breathing her in. Her sweet feminine smell and nature thrill me. They make me want to devour her... I love riding on that feeling after she leaves... all warm and cozy and personal to just us.
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