As I live in a VERY small town about an hour away from Dallas so I'm going to go by Pinky on this forum. Years ago I happened to have screaming, flamingo pink hair when I met a particular friend so she called me Pinky : ) I am going to refer to my husband as The Dude.
I'm 41/f and bi. I am a professional musician and an editor of horror and dark fantasy novels. He is 42, hetero and self-employed
We are completely new to poly and I'm not even sure that it's the right term for us, but polygamous doesn't really fit either because that community says that they don't believe in the wives having sex with each other. And we're not swingers because neither of us wants meaningless sex, we are about relationships.
So yeah.... aw man... I found out that I'm a freaking unicorn hunter. Crap, crap, crap. LOL
This is my/our story: I have always engaged in monogamy whether I was dating a m or a f, and he has always been monogamous. The Dude and I have been married for seven years, back in the fall my best friend, with whom I have a close emotional relationship, starting chasing me. I asked the Dude if he minded if I had sex with her, he told me to go for it. I did... and it was something of a wham-bam encounter because of an erroneous assumption she made (that I *just* found out about).
However, that encounter made my married sex life better despite that I got my heart broken. The Dude, realizing that I am more responsive to him when I've had sex with a woman (and, yeah, he liked hearing about it) took an opportunity a few weeks later when a good friend of ours came to visit and we ended up having a three-some with her.
At that point we started discussing having a girl friend that we could both have a relationship with (having never heard the term "unicorn hunter" before in our lives). We both want a relationship because meaningless sex is just, well... meaningless.
I put up an ad for us on okcupid and we have met someone that wants to date us because what she's tried in the past hasn't worked out very well, and yeah, she's bi. We have chatted with her online and on the phone and are going on a date this coming Saturday (5/26/12). We both like her, she likes us both, and we'll see where it goes.
I have no desire to have a relationship with any other man. Matter of fact, if something were to happen to the Dude, I'm pretty sure I'd never get involved with another man again. And, he has no interest in having a relationship with anyone else that doesn't involve me. For him it's about my happiness, with a bit of voyeurism thrown in.
See my issue with labels? We don't really seem to fit into a category. We are just following our hearts and what feels right for us.