Well, yesterday we sat down together and he said that he would basically do anything to keep our marriage together, even if that meant I had other lovers, male and female. He said he'd think about it, but he was pretty sure that he was willing to do whatever to keep us together.
I honestly don't think he's capable of doing this, but I can't know for sure because I'm not him.
I laid it all out for him: I'd need the freedom to be who I am as a queer poly and the importance of our own privacy, emotional space, and I'd need to know he was actively working on his own stuff. That's one of the problems, he scrambles, makes improvements, gets complacent, and goes back to his old ways. I don't feel like sticking around for that anymore.
Is it selfish for me to be who I want to be? Of course I know the answer is no, but I also feel a little guilty at times for taking care of me, esp. with kids. I'd love to hear from other people with children to hear some experience, strength, and hope.
"I know what I am, I know what you think I am, but I refuse to be that simple." - Nomy Lamm