View Single Post
  #8  
Old 05-22-2012, 05:20 AM
Phy's Avatar
Phy Phy is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 610
Default

Miss Indie is right in telling you to be cautious to label things as equal. I did that in the beginning as well and it didn't sit well with my husband. It was my clumsy way of trying to tell him what I couldn't voice differently: That my feelings had grown to such an extend that I wasn't able to call anyone more important to me anymore. This didn't mean that the life my husband and I spend with each other would have been of less importance, there would always be 'more' to our relationship regarding the time we were in each other's life.

I live a relationship structure close to what you are envisioning for yourself. The difference from your situation in my case is that the two men and I knew each other for years prior to us starting to develop the poly relationship. Those years helped my husband to feel comfortable with my boyfriend because both already has some kind of daily basis they could work with. Both are totally focused on 'our' homelife and we moved bf in as soon as possible after the first steps were done into an intimate relationship between him and I. If you are interested, the story is in the Life stories and blog section of this forum.

I think it is a good approach to wait some time to give the women some opportunities to get to know each other without the pressure of an intimate mix mingled into everything. This helped us big time. In regard to what will come out of it, wait and see would be my approach there as well. Don't press things into certain shapes, they may fit your preferences that way but you could be disregarding someone's wishes by doing so. Just sit and wait what you will be able to develop with the three of you. Wishing you luck
__________________
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

My Blog
Reply With Quote