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Old 05-22-2012, 12:57 AM
wannamakeitwork wannamakeitwork is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 6

thanks for that - it is definitely reassuring in many ways.

Can I also ask:

- Is there a point in which you know you are (or are not) cut out for it?

You see, since I was not the one to come up with the idea, and because I decided to give it a go as (once broken up) I still felt comfortable being with other people as with my partner (with who, albeit broken up, I was on occasion with as well).

Ultimately, it is not the being with other people that is difficult, but the dealing with my partner being with someone else or not being with me. For instance, I am hosting a party to which I invited his lover (as mentioned, also a friend of mine), who told me she'd only be ok coming if she could also be with him to a degree. I can understand her point, but I don't know how I will react. I can deal with a kiss on the sly, something subtle like that, but the idea of them being affectionate in front of me is honestly hard to digest (in fact it is nauseating). Is it because I am new to this? Is it jealousy? Will it go away/be managed with time? Ultimately, when will I know?

When his birthday comes around in a few months time, how can we deal with this as both os us will undoubtedly be there. I am the "primary" partner, but she doesn't like the term. Should we erase such distinctions at all? If he is not in love with her (nor me with anyone else) should this not be the terminology for the time being? And if so, in circumstances like these do I have "priority" (i.e.: in common events, my partner and I are a/the couple and our lovers are at that point more peripheral)?

I want to make this work but not at the cost of my happiness, obviously. When will I know that it is no longer us dealing with the natural jealousy triggers, and just me that isn't cut for it?

Sorry for the long post, but these feel like the quintessential questions that keep popping into my head. Your feedback is sincerely appreciated (in fact it makes my life much easier and me, consequently, much happier - thanks a million in advance)
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