Originally Posted by CielDuMatin
(Emphasis mine) this is the part that bothers me a little.
So is what she is looking for casual hook-ups for sex that emotionally mean nothing to her?
The major part of what polyamory is (as opposed to swinging) is the idea that the various people in your life mean a LOT to you.
I think if I were in your shoes I would want some definite clarification of what she wants, and then establish the expectation that her actions match her words...
My impression, and her descriptions is she likes to have guy friends, she likes the attention and they are just friends but there is no emotional relationship like she and I have, to her it is just sex.
I do find it confusing because you do have emotions even for a friend? So how can there not be more to this than casual sex. She wants to hang out with them like a friend and do activities and of course that includes sex.
She tells me that my acceptance of this makes her feel "free" and otherwise she just feels like a bird in a cage and that me accepting this really shows to her i love her (which to me feels like saying something to your folks "i want a car dad, cuz then I can help with the errands and it will make things easier for you"
She says she hangs out primarly just one person because its difficult to find someone that she approves of and also only wants casual situation and not serious relationship.