View Single Post
Old 05-21-2012, 10:16 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by corey View Post
I just dont want her to stay overnight, then it to me isnt really just that she needs to get her rocks off, it then seems like something more.
By this, you are saying that you have a right to dictate what level of emotional involvement she is allowed to have in her own relationships. Why shouldn't it be something more than sex? Why is it okay with you for her to share her body but not her mind and heart? Wouldn't you want someone to respect and care for her rather than just use her for sex? You don't own her, nor do you have a right to stake a claim to any part of her. She is her own person and makes her own choices. I think that, the sooner you look at it this way, the better able you will be to then make your own decisions about what you can live with, rather than figuring out what rules to restrict her with just to keep your insecurities and sense of possession over her in place.

And, of course, she can fall in love with someone else even if she abides by a curfew. Not "allowing" overnights won't prevent that.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
Reply With Quote