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Old 05-21-2012, 07:18 PM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
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Talking Family on board - Part II

I told my family – I really told my family – I told my family finally! And it went better than expected.

Well, why now … Sward and I talked this morning about things disturbing us right now, things we aren't happy with at the moment. Mainly, I told him about things that got on my nerves lately. I am feeling like almost everything is at a standstill or in a waiting line. When we touched on the thing with my family and how I would like to have 'the talk' off the table finally. Sward said: “Now would be the right time. Your mother is feeling better, there is this situation with the neighbor's daughter and this little window of opportunity will be gone at the beginning of next week.” (My mother will have her second chemo treatment on Monday.) He basically gave me the 'go for it'.

Therefore I talked with my brother in law when we went for the morning walk with the dogs. He wasn't that surprised, as there have been occurrences where he and my sister witnessed something like Lin calling me honey without thinking, some unclear movement behind the windows when Sward was already asleep and so on. Btw this was the reason why my sister was so hostile towards Lin in the beginning, as she seems to have witnessed some physical interaction between Lin and I right during the first week of his visit back then. She thought we would be cheating on my husband at first. (And she didn't say a word, I was a bit shocked by that.)

After the quite relaxed talk with BiL I talked to my mother. She never thought about this possible development beforehand, she was surprised but not shocked. She told me that she is a bit worried about children and possible breakups as she regarded this kind of relationship constellation as more unstable than the traditional one (more people, more problems) but she was able to joke about it right away and was really calm and collected. She broached the topic of 'how will you make sure who will be the father?' and 'how should the child call the two men when finally born and able to speak?' and things like that. Real practical approach so far.

As she was one of those teasing Lin constantly already, she directly said that he will be the odd one out for life and a 'victim' for her wee jokes, as she found the thought of him with me quite amusing. In her view Lin is just tiny, cute, someone you need to take care of … he totally activates her motherly instincts. She said that she will have an eye on the situation and how the things will develop and wished us luck in our endeavor. This could really have gone way worse than that ^.^

My sister was informed by Lin while I was away to work. (Her husband told her that I would like to tell her something and she bugged him that long that he finally gave in and went to see Lin and let him explain.) She seems to have no problems at all right now, I expected her to get a bit irritated and protective of Sward. She seems to be OK as long as she gets the feeling that we are happy and well. My brother was even more relaxed, the talk didn't last longer than 10 minutes. I simply told him that I have 'a husband and a boyfriend', he took about 10 seconds to process this information and finally asked if I knew the name for my quirk After I told him the gist, he simply hugged me and said everything is fine. He promised to come to talk to me if there would be any further questions on his mind.

The only person missing right now is my father. He isn't home and will be back on Wednesday. No one was able to predict how he could react. I don't know as well, this may really be a bother ultimately for him. But we will see, the rest of my family has taken it well. And I feel freed from this constant nagging feeling of having to look out how I interact with Lin. As it seems Lin and I haven't been successful in concealing what was going on between us. My sister and her husband told us as much right away, we were quite obvious, even though we ourselves felt like we didn't even exchanged looks on most official occasions. *shrugs shoulders* There seem to have been some kind of connection between us without us doing anything to stress it.
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Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

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