Originally Posted by Quath
For me, I am more likely to hear about "soul mate" or "being completed" in my monogamous friends than in my poly friends. They are more likely to separate how you love from what love is.
I read a few Heinlein books. They are interesting in how they break through many social norms. However, I usually don't get pulled too deeply into his stories. The Heinlein quote that I do hear is "Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." It doesn't quite reflect my view, but I like the concept of it.
I read some Heinlein a long time ago (like Jr High era) and maybe I saw something in there that made sense to me at the time. Maybe even the quote you use above.
And I think that quote has a lot of wisdom in it and may reflect the reality of "love" for a lot of people. I'm even going to carry it one step further into dangerous territory by saying " the happiness/well being of another comes to supersede our own". In most truly "loving" situations I've seen or been involved in, the reality of "sacrifice" (for someone else) has been a consistent action in the "expression" of love.
It's a dangerous thread (and if the group wants we should move it to one) as it can't help but dissolve into a debate about when TOO MUCH sacrifice is needed or involved, and how that can unavoidably (?) change the whole dynamic and end up with more bad than good.
Nothing is ever simple and black & white it seems.........