PassionFlower, I was in a very broken and miserable marriage and would have done anything to feel, including cheating on my (now ex) husband. luckily I had a friend who helped me get into therapy and I sorted out the issues with my marriage, before I ended up in a situation of using other people. it took awhile to figure it out, but ultimately I realized I had to end my marriage. the aftermath was really ugly, my kids were emotionally damaged and so was I, and we ended up homeless, but that was because of my ex's nastiness. it didn't need to be that way but that's how my ex wanted it.
even after the divorce it took years for me to sort out what I really want, which is ok. in the marriage I was mono and straight because I had to be, to survive. now that no one can dictate to me what I do, I know I'm poly and bi, just like I was before I got married. I suppose it isn't as hard for some people to sort it out as it was for me, but I was in a very psychologically abusive situation and it damaged my faith in myself.
I just think that you could benefit from therapy to help sort out what you want and need to do. you might not need it as much as I did, but if you can find a good therapist it sure won't hurt.
solo polyamorous pansexual queer biological female with Aspergers.