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Old 05-20-2012, 11:56 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
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"The problem with my partner is that he (ironically the one who wished to go into polyamory) is not the best communicator. His 'meltdown' was due partially due to life stresses, and partly due to having two people demanding him to communicate and express his affections, his commitment and put in the time. Could this be a sign that he is not the right person to enter polyamory?"
I'd say that being "communication-challenged" makes polyamory more difficult, but not impossible. You'll have to find some middle ground here. Try to be aware of his "handicap" and not demand too much communication of him, but at the same time he should be trying to push himself to communicate a little bit more.

"He never had problems being affectionate and caring and passionate, but he always has this 2 months a year in which he becomes detached. He calls it 'becoming bored of being with the same person' -- reason why he expressed the wish for us to become polyamorous. Now I am wondering if the root of the problem isn't really the multiplicity of people, but his own issues."
That's very possible. Finding a new person to "fill up the boredom gap" isn't much of a reason to go poly, especially if the only thing that will fill the gap is NRE (New Relationship Energy). How would that make the new person feel, to know that they're only there to "ease the boredom?"

"I am getting in touch with some people in the poly community where I live, which is great because I get to exchange ideas, and obviously meet potential new partners."
That should help a lot.

I think you probably just need more time to get things figured out. Be sure to let your partner know you need him to try to be as communicative as he can.

Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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