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Old 05-20-2012, 09:14 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,836

Originally Posted by Tdh17 View Post
Her husband is aware of the fact that his wife and I have a physical/sexual relationship. I confronted her about him and she says he is okay with it as long as we dont do Anything in front of him.
If he is aware of it and they have discussed it and they have come to a mutually agreement then it is probably ok. However, you may want to consider speaking to her husband directly to confirm this.

Originally Posted by Tdh17 View Post
I mean our relationship has progressed from intellectual conversation to being extremely physical/sexual... I am content with the way things are but, i just want things to get complicated. I dont want to ruin her marriage because i do respect her husband he is a good guy.
As long as you are careful to all keep everyone in the loop and respect each other's relationships then it is certainly possible to have a relationship with a married woman without ruining her marriage. (Just ask my boyfriend )

Originally Posted by Tdh17 View Post
My friend keeps on telling me that i need to be careful and not catch feelings. That is easier said than done. I mean she’s told me before that if she was not married she would ask me out exclusively.
Well, it depends. If the wife and husband have an agreement that she can see other women but only for sex than this could be problem. That would be a more "open" and less "poly" arrangement - which is fine but everyone has to be on the same page. My husband would not have a problem with me "catching feelings" for another woman, if your GF's husband would then that needs to be addressed. Just because she would be willing to ask you out exclusively if she were not married doesn't really change things - she is married, so your relationship needs to be based on "what is" rather than "what could have been."

Originally Posted by Tdh17 View Post
I am totally falling for her and I know it and i think she knows it too but i think she has more self control than i do. What should I do? Put an end to it or keep it going?
That is up to you and her, informed by what this means in the context of her marriage. What do you want? What does she want? What is her husband able to accept? The only problem I see is that, if her husband is fine with you having a relationship with her but that you are trying to "steal her" from him to have an exclusive relationship. THAT would not be good.

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (6+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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