have been reading your thread recently, Tonberry. just wanted to say that i feel you in several ways. i saw plenty of Raga's "passive-aggressive victim" role in my ex as well. eventually i despaired of trying to make him happy too...though, like you, i still love him, and find myself rooting for that good and happy person that i occasionally see in him, and am sure he loved/s me....
thanks for taking the time to post; hope you keep doing so.