The Second Interlude
Dude comes over to the house and stays...and stays. The three of us pick up where we left off before the Dark Times happened. But this time nothing is hidden, we move slowly, we take baby steps. MrS and Dude resume their friendship, spending hours a day participating in their mutual avocation and other mutual interests. I gradually start playing gently with Dude – this time in full view of MrS, with much discussion and communication. The way it should have happened the first time around. I don't do anything with Dude that I wouldn't do (aren't doing) with my husband present.
Dude is still off-and-on again with CrazyGirl. We go to a beer-festival and have a low-key foursome. No pressure. No deception. BUT, she wants something that he is not willing to comply with or promise. (Monogamy, her being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.) She wants to me “MARRIED” - she tells me. She sees what MrS and I have and she wants to jump to that NOW – with Dude. Nevermind that MrS and I aren't monogamous, that we can't make babies (different story) – she mixes her desires for a fictional future with an idealized version of what it means to be “loved” - no one has ever loved her the way that MrS loves me she says, I point out that we spent two decades getting to where we are. She can't expect that in 6 months with someone who she has broken up with a half dozen times and never subscribed to the love=married=babies paradigm in the first place. Deaf ears. The last thing in the world this CrazyGirl needs is a baby!
Three months after Dude re-enters our lives they break up for the last time.
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (5+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic girlfriend and BFF
Lotus: "it's complicated"
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.
My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe