Approximately 10 weeks after the Implosion I check my email prior to going to work and find an email from Dude that he sent to MrS and cc'd to me. “Please read – don't delete.” I read the email and delete it and go to work, fingers-crossed.
I talk to MrS that afternoon from work – he tells me he got an email from Dude and that he is contemplating calling him. I say “OK” and tell him that I read the email that morning.
So what was in the email?: Dude writes that he misses us. That he misses just being with us. That he loves us both. He tells MrS that it was never his intention to try to replace MrS as my husband and lover. That he enjoys my mind and that sexual attraction is secondary to that but not worth losing friends over. That he tried to follow the “rules” as he understood them and that his mistake was taking someone elses's (i.e. my) word for things after he had said he wouldn't participate in anything other than “hugs and backrubs” without hearing from MrS directly. And for that he is sorry.
He wants us in his life but he can't deal with wondering whether he is going to be “shot for trespassing” if he comes over to talk. If we are really done then he needs to know so that he can move on...he has several things to return to MrS if this is the case. But he can't cope with the uncertainty any longer.
The long and the short of it? I come home from work to find (a very drunk) MrS still on the phone with Dude, they talked for a total of FOUR HOURS. After tucking a (very pukey) MrS into bed I breath the first sigh of relief I've had in what seems like a very long time.
The next day Dude comes over and we start the next phase of our lives.
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.
My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe