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Old 05-19-2012, 09:37 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,522
Default The Implosion

MrS had been home a day or two and I was stalling, trying to figure out how to initiate the conversation about how I had failed again when it was suddenly brought to the fore.

I am walking past his computer chair and he smiles up at me (oh, how I love to look in his eyes and see the love there - usually) and says. “ have BOOBIES!”. (This is common invitation for me to flash my breasts, sort of a hobby of mine – often leading to nuzzling and stuff.) But this time...I pause in confusion. His eyes flash a puzzled expression. “I...don't want to?” Him: “...whyyyy?...” Thunderclouds form in his eyes. “Because...Dude left bruises on them.” Guilt and shame must be evident on my face. The face that my husband can read like a billboard. “Show me.”

Chaos! Anger! Pain! BETRAYAL!

My husband in is a rage. I have never seen him like this before. The pain and anger flowing from him in a flood of uncontrolled emotion. I am afraid. I am too numb for tears, I have no idea what is going to happen. He says he is going to leave. He packs a few things and puts on his coat, gets in the car. I tell him he can't drive in this state, he isn't safe. I beg, I plead, I will do anything he asks – just don't leave like this. Eventually I coax him out of the car and back in the house.

He paces and storms. He can't believe he trusted me all of these years. If he is going to stay tonight I am never to talk to Dude again. He deletes Dude's (and CrazyGirl's) contact info from my phone. If Dude shows up at the house he is going to shoot him for trespassing. He rages and yells. Eventually, the energy from his anger abated, he curls up on the dog blanket on the floor of the living room, coat and all. I sit by him, stunned and numb, until he tells me to go away.

I take a sleeping pill and go to bed.
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
Lotus: "it's complicated"
SLeW: platonic girlfriend + BFF
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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