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Old 05-19-2012, 07:15 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
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Hi Jenn,

Although it's a little late for me to say it, can I just offer you my welcome to the forum.

Re (from Post #1):
Quote:
"He has had many affairs in the past yet was never receptive of having an open relationship until recently."
It sounds like he has gotten rather comfortable with the "cheating model" of conducting a relationship, and he may not take well to the idea that he needs to not have any outside relationships for awhile while he does some mending of fences with you. However, I do agree with the others that he needs to concentrate on his relationship with you for awhile, not be off having fun with some other woman.

I'd say different if he'd already been conscientious and his relationship with you was good and on solid ground. But if you are feeling like you have no say-so in anything he does, that's a sign (to me) that he's been, well, neglecting you.

I'd still get that couple's counseling if I were you, as long as he's willing to do it. You and he should try to get to the bottom of what has been fueling his pattern of affairs. Is there something about you that he's not happy with? If so, he should put that on the table.

I think your attitude is amazing and patient, and he's lucky to have you. Keep researching on poly, and stick to your guns when it comes to asking for reasonable boundaries. You deserve to be treated like your feelings matter.

I'm glad you're with us here on Polyamory.com. I hope we can be of some help to you along the way.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
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