Although this is late in coming, I just wanted to welcome you to our forum.
Sorry to hear your first meet-up experience was a tad creepy. I have a poly group in my area (Albuquerque), but I haven't been to one of their meet-ups yet, so I guess we'll have to see how it is when the time comes.
I hope you can find some like-minded people in your area (that are a little more circumspect).
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"