I have been reading your thread with interest. I wonder - do you see any unfairness in how you are handling everything? Do you really feel like you have no place to work things out when your husband reads your blog and takes issue with something in it? That does not seem right when you will not allow him any privacy to talk to or text his girlfriend and get offended when he wants to conduct his own relationships as he sees fit.
I would say, Pot, meet Kettle!
Everything he does with her needs permission from you and must be done the way you want it, but he gets criticized for not liking something about how you do things. It looks like you are able to be very free and doing whatever and whoever you want while you keep a very, very tight leash on your husband. A queen bee and her drone working to keep her happy while she has all the freedom she wants. My dear, no matter how poetic you write (handcrafted beer? oh sweet Jesus), you have become a dictator and are emasculating your husband. He is being treated like your misbehaving son, not a partner.
I am wondering how you are able to reconcile that in yourself?