@newtoday has covered a lot of the ground I might have offered about of the joys and pains of being a secondary without a primary. Thanks, new!
@BaB, if you feel like you're winning, then run with it. Nothing is set in stone. It looks like you're running with your eyes open, which beats the alternative.
As far as one of your questions goes:
Originally Posted by blytheandbonny
So perhaps the question - at least for me in figuring out the whole cosmic configuration in what is all brand-new territory - is what the potential future holds?
This is an issue I struggle with regularly. It's a big one for me. After the NRE disappated, I was left to wonder where all this is going. What am I doing? Some days, it makes sense, other days, it's futile. One day, maybe I'll figure it out.
On the other hand, maybe your relationship has a more specific trajectory. You mentioned the "golden path" in your original post, and I'm quoting FigNewtonian below.
Originally Posted by FigNewtonian
If circumstances fall into place, I would be perfectly content, and very much expect to settle into a mono life again with BaB at some point in the future. For me intellectually this is talking to people who have lived on the mountain — even if all you intend to do is get to the top and look around, and then head back down.
If it's not too much to ask, FigNewtonian, why do you believe you will be monogamous with BaB in the future? Is she holding out for a particular circumstance? What made you choose the polyamorous path vs. the monogamous path you were on previously?