Very New to This
I am a 54 year old male, been married 11 years. My wife Kathy, is open minded. We experimented with swinging years back and that has run its course. Recently, i met up with a lady, Rita, that i had lived with and dated when i was in my early 20's. We agreed to meet for a couple of drinks. I told my wife Kathy where I was going and with whom, she had no problem with it. When we met for drinks, we wound up staying out until well past midnight, just talking about our lives. I was instantly attracted to her, and the more we talked, the more i realized that I really loved her. I have seen her several times, and now am in love with her and want her to be in my life. We have been intimate 2 times and it was nothing short of fantastic, and leaving each other after being intimate was devastating. We both shared that we were in love with each other. I miss her so much when we are away. I did not tell my wife about the intimacy or each time i saw her and I feel badly about that. Well, my wife figured it out, and we discussed it. Now my wife asked me not to see Rita anymore, and she seems to have a 6th sense about it, because every time i see Rita, my wife calls with some type of urgent issue that requires me to leave. When this happens it leaves Rita hurt and me hurt.
I discussed polyamory with Rita and my wife. Rita was very open to the idea, and we discussed it in detail. When i discussed it with my wife, her response was "dont do this" She did not want to discuss it. When i told Rita of Kathys response, she shared with me that she now had some reservations. She believed that my wife would never agree to it, and she also said she did not want to share me with another woman, she would rather end our romantic relationship and remain friends. Which has happened, We are very good friends and talk daily, sometimes go to lunch and such, no kissing, no intimacy. We do tell each other we love each other.
Recently, Rita has become a little more open minded to the idea of a poly relationship and we have been discussing it. I have not broached the subject with my wife again. I wont give up on this, i know that Kathy is open minded enough, just jealousy has taken hold. And i bear the responsibility for that. I sneeked around, saw Rita, was intimate with Rita, and i feel like i damaged the possibility of the three of us being in a relationship.
I know this is long winded, and it is a tip of the iceberg, there is so much to this. I want to learn about other poly relationships, and meet people in poly relationships. I am not interested in meeting anyone else to begin yet another relationship. I am in love with two wonderful beautiful women. It is not polyamorus relationships that attract me, it is my total love for these two women. A poly relationship is the only thing that makes sense.