Hi SLJ, and welcome to the forum.
There are a surprisingly large number of poly folks who are "out in the sticks" and don't live in or close to major cities. The area where I live is pretty conservative (considering it's not the deep south) and I am most certainly not "out" to many folks, including most of our families. Of the few friends that I have spoken to, most were pretty uncomfortable - one couple has sort of come around to the idea, which was pretty cool.
I guess my point is - you're not alone!
Time to make some new friends - this forum is a great place to start. I notice that you don't give us an idea of which part of which country you live in, but there's a chance that there is a poly group somewhere fairly close-by. If you feel comfortable doing so, then by all means post your approximate location, and one of us can search, or you can google something like "local polyamory group".
I think that most will advise you that the opinions of most of the other folks around you shouldn't matter anywhere near as much as the relationship with your husband. Most of the major work that poly folk need to do is to try to make their current partner (who usually agreed to a monogamous relationship) that you want this to change. It has to be a slow process - and much better to do it early, when there's less of a feeling of urgency, than when it is something that is driving you crazy.
Anyway, good luck - I hope this forum helps you on your search for answers....
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb