Clarification - Bee said she wanted him home two nights a week at a minimum. He never spent more than one night a week at my place. The other two nights he was usually working late or at home any way. Sometimes I would visit at their place for a couple of hours. Weekends he would spend at home by default.
It's not really that relevant, but I feel like I've painted an unfair picture of him. I think he's been a devoted father and husband. Sure he spends time away from home, but I don't think spending 100% of time at home is reasonable, and it definitely wasn't the expectation in their relationship. Bee doesn't work (except for 4 days a month), and they get 3-4 days of babysitting a week from the grandparents. Jay works M-F, shares childcare in the evenings, is primary caregiver on Saturdays, and sometimes gets a break on Sunday to do chores. He's responsible for most of the housework and all the home maintenance. Bee doesn't get on his case about it, but she won't do it herself, so if he wants it done he has to take care of it.
About once a month or two she goes on a 4-5 day trip out of town, and Jay gives up his weekend and juggles the baby and his job. Last year he spent a week of his vacation time to stay home with the baby so she could go on a 10 day trip.
She does her part, too, but Jay does a lot. I'm sorry if this comes off ranty. I'm feeling pretty sensitive to accusations that Jay's been neglectful, because I think he's been trying really, really hard. It sounds like Bee's parents are giving him a hard time too, and he's not telling them everything (which would probably cast him in a better light) out of respect for Bee.