For the record, I've been reading the thread and while I haven't had much to say I don't think you're being naive or silly. Good for you for making the best effort you can to get what you want while realizing it may not happen. It's a delicate balancing act to be both brave and realistic, and it sounds like you're doing well.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.