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Old 05-17-2012, 02:48 PM
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newtoday newtoday is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 187

[QUOTE=BaggageReclaim;135995]I feel concerned for him mainly. This is a huge upheaval of the things that he's affirmed as important to him. He's rearranging his life. I have some selfish concern that I might not like what he comes up with. Fear of the unknown I guess. QUOTE]

Your fears are realistic, wondering where you fit in in his overturned life. But when you take a step back and think about things, you are obviously important to him. He was only spending 2 nights a week at home, I'm assuming the other 5 were with you.

2 thoughts on that:

1. I'm jealous! lol. I get 1-2 nights a week with my bf. The other 5-6 are with his SO. In all seriousness, you must be very important to him for him to devote that kind of time to you. Most of us Mono-Secondaries would love to have that time or more time period!

2. Is it really any surprise that his marriage ended? Based on what you wrote about their relationship and given the fact that they had a new baby at home and he was only present 2 nights a week for her and the baby, it really shouldn't come as a surprise that his wife left the relationship. I'm divorced and my ex-H sees our children more than that now.

At the end of the day, all you can do is trust in the bond you two have and be there for him. He needs understanding (and probably space) right now. I'm not saying you can't talk to him about how you are feeling but perhaps, for the time being, focus less on what this means to you and how it will affect you and be there for him.

Be the support he needs, no added pressure, or everyone loses.
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