I have not read "sex at dawn" but I feel like I need to. my status as polyamorous has been more of a return to something I once had and tried to give up to fit in. it's a far more comfortable fit for me, but not perhaps for my "FWB", so I have to tread carefully and consider his feelings as I go, although he's long been convinced that we would go our separate ways. my feeling is we don't necessarily have to, that we can still enjoy our relationship without sacrificing others. I guess we'll see.
I've had a very graphic metaphor in mind since I realized I could love more than one, and that's of my heart being ripped in two for no reason. I maintain that I'm actually more like Doctor Who, who has two hearts. I don't have to divide a heart to give a whole heart to two separate partners (yes I know that the metaphor breaks down with more than two partners, but let me indulge my inner geek!).
I don't think I could go back. as much as I am in love with each of my lovers for their very different qualities, neither could fulfill me. I don't feel bad about that and I don't want either of them to feel badly, either.
solo polyamorous pansexual queer biological female with Aspergers.