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Old 05-16-2012, 07:35 PM
CherryBlossomGirl CherryBlossomGirl is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 212
Default Normal, definitely normal.

Hugs - it's hard to come to terms that we can't be everything to our partners at first, and then... well, then it becomes freeing, in my experience. Been there sistah - it's hard to watch your husband (in my case, literally) get down with another chica in a way that he doesn't connect with you. When stuff filters down to me it still gets to me a bit, but it gets easier over time for sure.

That sadness and those tears are a sign of your gentle loving heart, of your desire to be a good partner to your husband, and your fear of losing the sacred connection that the two of you share. All of those things are beautiful, and deserve to be honoured, because they're part of who you are.

I don't worry about rushing through those feelings, or shaming myself for them; I did at first, and not only did it not make them go away, but it made them harder to express and let go of. Now I recognize that something hurts (ie - overhearing a really sexy phone call between my husband and the GF) and take some space, work out, go out, do whatever, and come back when I'm feeling balanced and secure inside of myself and talk about it. It takes some discipline, but it's working well for me, and I have a hunch that it might help you too. We can never control anyone's behaviour except for our own, and taking care of our own needs is our responsibility. When we become the masters of our own lives, everything changes.

So hugs again, for the sadness that comes with letting go those pieces of your relationship that you no longer need to own. Sink into that sadness and feel it, then let it go, and heck, why not order some sexy stuff for you & your GF so that you have a package coming too?
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