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Old 05-16-2012, 04:37 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723
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Hi there

It seems to me you are starting out at a great place. Your belief that love can be expansive is typical poly theory. Your thoughts on jealousy being about your insecurities are very insightful for someone starting out. Good for you.

I would suggest discussing boundaries along with rules. Discover where you may need to compromise. Check the threads on "boundaries" by doing a search in the tag section. Also have a look at threads with the tag "foundations" and "lessons." They could be helpful too.

I think that opening a marriage needs to take a really long time. She needs to put her mind to a place of being with someone else and so do you. Don't do it for your spouse, do it for you. Remain considerate of them, but be the best person you can be for YOU first. I have noticed that monogamous relationships have taught us that we are owned by our spouse and that we have no autonomy from them (generally speaking that it, not all). Learn how to think, feel and be autonomous from each other before stepping out into putting yourself out on the dating platter for others to take a taste of (its a war out here! ). You'll be glad you did I think. You'll need a strong relationship with yourself when it comes down to it. Just as much as a strong relationship with your spouse. Find some like minded friends out there in the community. It seems to help to start with that.

Check the sticky on "recommendations" for more resources... Opening up, ethical slut, love without limits, the five love languages... All good books. But there is so much more.
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