nycindie, you're right, i guess i didn't realize i was making such broad generalizations. that said, i still think many people are incredibly male/female based. Sex with one is fine, but the other is a big no-no.
Ok just to clarify: when i say "sex," i mean dating, infatuation, etc. I don't just want intercourse, i want more love, more people to share my life with. i don't feel that love is a zero sum game, that is, i don't feel that one can only love one person.
The reason i talk mainly about sex, is because i feel if she can't deal with me having sex with another female, how could she deal with me being in love with another? once more to clarify for the future, from now on, i'll say love, not only sex.
so, to clear up where i'm at, I want to LOVE other people. It's important to me to do so. i want her to love other people. I don't have any intention or desire to leave her. She means more than i can say. That is why this is difficult for me, i can't leave her. That's why I'm giving her the time she needs.
Ok MrFarFromRight, I'd like to start off and say, thankyou. i really liked your post. I can't say i really have the answer to any of your questions, that is, i'm not sure once her time runs out i'm going to be like, "Ready or not, i'm going out to do _____." I love her, and i can't see myself just doing what i want, and letting her deal with it. At the same time, i can't see myself in a strictly mono relationship either.
If she's going to be with other people, i'm going to as well. That's not to say i won't give her the time agreed upon. I think that's only fair. this relationship is imbalanced right now, and that's ok, but i can't let it be that way forever. It wouldn't be fair for either of us.