Originally Posted by dingedheart
Glad to see you're still around.
sound like your situation has improved or stabilized which is great:
Settling.....How much time would you like? How much do you get...1 date or night ....or sleep over. Sound like a semantic argument with yourself just like secondary.
Could one argue that your needs and mindset have changed dramatically since the beginning of this relationship. The idea of "future " at that time was irrelevant but now as the kids are growing up at such a fast pace you see more alone time?
Hey D! Oh yes, I'm still around!
My situation has improved and stabilized. It is great.
Honestly, the more time I can get, the better. However, I am at peace with having a couple of date nights and sleepovers a week. I have such a full schedule with my work, my kids, and their activities (I swear they are more social and active than me!
) And then I try to fit in the gym as much as I can. It's a busy life! We have at least one evening/sleepover a week, working that out to more whenever possible. He stayed over 3 nights a few weeks ago and it was GLORIOUS! Right now, it's complicated with his work schedule increasing tenfold during the summer but he's committed to trying the best he can to spend quality time together. That's all I can ask for. I empathize with him, he wants to see me, and misses me in between, just as much as I miss him.
One could indeed argue that my needs and mindset have changed. It's inevitable! It's been 2 years already. In the beginning, we saw each other once every two weeks. That no longer works for either one of us. We both NEED to be together more than that.
I won't lie, I have thought about what it means to be so alone as my kids get older and more independent. Have I thought about finding someone else? Yes, at times I have. I've questioned my commitment to this often complicated relationship. Have I acted on those thoughts? No. I am certain that I just want to be with him. And as long as he's committed to making this work between us, I am committed to staying put. For now, the benefits outweigh the cons.