How many secondary relationships have you had during your time with your current husband?
You said when he moves out that you and he were fairly certain that it would become a co-primary type one. Is or was your husband involved in those discussions? Are you "out" to kid, friends, relatives, neighbors ...employers?
How do you work a 2 week family vacation to Yellowstone ...do the kids get a vote as to the new co primary coming alone?
How would you feel if hubs decided he wanted to be a secondary? My wife was shocked and insulted....which I still don't get.
I took the comment of giving "all " to mean ....a persons romantic focus ...Heart and soul. Not similar to a time management or a hobby
Glad to see you're still around.
sound like your situation has improved or stabilized which is great:
Settling.....How much time would you like? How much do you get...1 date or night ....or sleep over. Sound like a semantic argument with yourself just like secondary.
Could one argue that your needs and mindset have changed dramatically since the beginning of this relationship. The idea of "future " at that time was irrelevant but now as the kids are growing up at such a fast pace you see more alone time?