Ok, so I tried doing a search on friends with benefits and didn't seem to quite find what I was looking for.
So, having gone through a divorce last fall, the idea of having a friend to spend the night with without a relationship was very appealing. I'd been reading the book, Ethical Slut, and I found someone that spoke the same language it seemed to be. He was also just out of a long relationship that ended badly. She had cheated on him. He used to be controlling, so he went from that to, "you can do whatever you want" it seems.
We've been together twice. The second time when I was at his house during the day the day after, he mentioned something about I would have a date to go somewhere. It took a little bit, but I realized with horror that I really didn't want to see anyone else.
If you know my background, you may agree that the universe was playing some cruel trick on me.
Anyway, he went a week without responding to a couple of text messages and an invitation on Facebook. Then he wants to know when I'm coming back into his area (he's a couple of hours away), but I don't really want to have that connection and then not hear from him for a week. We're both very busy people, but why go a week without any contact and then in a short conversation ask me what my plans are twice, and if I'm back in town?
It's all been very confusing. He's excited to have me come around and tells me he has fun when I'm about to leave, but then there's not much contact in between. I'm personally not a big fan of that, and if anything I think myself in the polyamory range vs. the Ethical Slut category.
Thought you guys would have more experience with this kind of a thing and am looking forward to hearing your comments on this!