Wow....really great questions....I'm stunned that you haven't gotten any responses. I know there are plenty of mono's ...primaries and secondaries who can comment.
1) I think yes it is. Doesn't it have to.
2) I guess if all your needs are being met ...not problem. What about future needs.....is everything a negotiation. In the normal mono model it might be expected it would just naturally expand without negotiations. What about spontaneity?
I actually told my wife I'd rather have a secondary relationship with her...rejecting that primary status . So from the flip side of things whats gained and whats lost.
Big picture ...maybe nothing or maybe your needs, feelings, and time are viewed as a hobby. It could personality dependent...the right partner is going to great ...a selfish asshole is going to be not so great. It also gets into the subjective weighing other peoples needs....partner x needs me for this or is having a hard time with blah blah .... "so important that i spend add time" ... but that's all guessing game. At the expense of who?
About settling ...was watching a Nascar race with my kid over the weekend and he said ...wow notice how all the drivers wives or girlfriends are hot....I lied and said no I hadn't ...I said why do you think that is ...He said I don't know ... I said because they don't have to settle for anything less. Look at the woman Jeff Gordan dates and marries. True story.
Last edited by dingedheart; 05-14-2012 at 10:41 PM.